I’ve spoken with several folks over the years that just assumed that they would marry a person with children and everything would just fall into place. Well when you marry a man/woman with children, things are not always rosey. Trying to blend a family is hard work and it is not for the thin skinned.
First of all when you marry a person with kids, be prepared to come second to those children whether they reside with you or not. If they reside with you, your spouse will be constantly torn between the children and you. If they only visit on the weekends, the spouse may feel guilty about not being there for the kids and will feel that every moment of that weekend needs to be directed at spending time with the kids. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, I’m just saying expect it.
Second thing, the ex will always be involved in his life as long as he is involved in the lives of his children until they are grown of course. Some ex’s realize that working with and not against the new spouse is actually in the best interest of the children, but many are more concerned with creating issues for their ex than they are with doing what is best for their children.
I’m not saying you cannot work it out with a person with children and have a happy marriage, I’m just saying you need to set your expectations.
