February 21, 2008 at 12:25 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: Love, Quality Time, rebellion
What a wonderful day I had! My 19 year old called me up and offered to take me to lunch. When he arrived to pick me up I suggested we stop by the early voting office to cast our vote. Once we both casts our ballots for Obama I was so excited I stopped in front of the VOTE HERE sign and one of the passers by took our picture – my son was embarrassed…lol. I told him he’d appreciate that photo in about 15 years when he looked back and realized that he cast his first vote for a man that was making history, looked like him and more importantly is the best choice for this country during this election.
We arrived at the restaurant, ordered our food and had a heartfelt conversation. You see my 19 year old was an extremely rebellious and angry teen. I mean he had me at my wits end and I didn’t always respond correctly. Today I felt the need to tell him how much I love him and realize that I’ve not always made the best choices or reacted in the correct way when he was acting out and that I was sorry for that – no parent is perfect, but this parent loves you more than you know. He smiled and said, “You know mom, I was responsible for the drama and I owe you the apology. I’ve always loved you too – even when I was acting crazy”.
Hearing him take responsibility for his actions let me know that he is in fact growing up to be a man and that many of the lessons I’ve tried to instill in him have stuck.
I’m saying this to to say that while we may not always be perfect parents….we must always be loving & honest parents and be able to admit when we’ve goofed to our children. If they don’t see us admit to mistakes, how will they be confident enough to admit to theirs? I think my son respects me more for admitting that I was not perfect but that I’ve always done my best. A friend of mine told me to look at it this way. Look back over your parenting and if you did the right thing 85% percent of the time….you’ve done great!
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February 13, 2008 at 5:06 pm (Basics)
Tags: Advisor, Friends, Relationships
I picked my son up from school today and he was a little down – he learned that everyone is not your friend and cannot be trusted – a lesson we all have to learn at some point. I tried to cheer him up – but he surprised me when he told me “Oh mom, they were just leaves – they just died”. I was like – what do you mean? To my surprise he starts telling me that he learned that lesson from Madea – LOL. Here is the quote. It’s amazing the things that stick with us.
Some people come into your life for a lifetime and some come for a season. You have to know which is which. I put everybody that comes into my life in the category of a tree. Some people are leaves on a tree. The wind blows, they go to the left. The wind blows from the other way, they go to the right. They are just unstable. You can’t count on them for nothing. All they ever do is take from that tree. What you need to understand about a leaf is that it has a season. It’ll wither and die and blow away.There ain’t no need to be praying over a leaf to be resurrected. When it’s dead it’s gone. Let it go! Some people are like that. All the leaf ever does is cool you off every now and then. If you’re grown, you know what I’m talking about, because you can call them in the middle of the night and get cooled off. That’s the leaf people. They come to take.
Then there are people like a branch. You got to be careful with branch people. They come in all different shapes and sizes. You never know how strong they will be in your life. So my advice is to tip out on it slowly. When you’re going out on a limb, don’t put too much weight on it at once, because it can fall and leave you high and dry. Sometimes, you have to wait for a branch to grow up before it can hold all of the things you want to share with it.
Finally, there are people who are like roots at the bottom of the tree. If you find yourself two or three people in your entire lifetime that are like the roots, then you are blessed. The roots don’t care nothing about being seen. All they’re there to do is hold that tree up, to make sure it stays in the air. It comes from the earth to give that tree everything it needs. That’s what relationships should be about. That’s what you need, people who want to be in your life for the right reasons. If somebody wants to walk out of your life, you’ve got to LET THEM GO! When you learn to love yourself, you will end up giving standards to everyone around you. Again, I repeat with emphasis, if they don’t meet those standards, you have to let them go, because they might be a leaf. And forgive them with all your might. – Madea
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February 13, 2008 at 2:23 am (Uncategorized)
FYI – Soul Sistah and AJ are one in the same.
Peace!
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February 8, 2008 at 6:55 pm (Basics, Step Parent, blended family, step parenting)
Tags: Discipline, Division, United Front
I may not be, but I’m the one that’s here with you and your going to respect me and obey my rules or I’m going to discipline you like I was your Momma/Daddy.
OK…maybe you shouldn’t physically discipline your step-children but you definitely better put them in check before they run all over you. If they get away with saying this to you one time…they’ll say it whenever the mood strikes them and it only gets worse.
Also, when you put them in check, do it IN FRONT OF their biological parent/your spouse so the child knows your both on the same page and that you will not waffle just because their biological parent is present. One of the most important elements in a blended family is maintaining a united front in the presence of the children. If they see any weakness they will exploit it and have you and your spouse at odds.
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