For what its worth – I think you should give your father a chance – you never know what you may get. Keep your expectations low but your heart open. Even though I talk to my father on a daily basis and have for about 6 months now..I still find myself keeping my expectations low so I can protect my feelings…but so far, our relationship has been better than I could have ever imagined.

Peace & Blessings to you and your father.

I just wanted to say thankyou so so so so so so much. This story was just what I needed to read.

My dad has just recently tried to get back in touch with me after 11 years of absence. I am finding it really really difficult because I don’t expect that he will stick around for long. I do know though that I need to give him a chance.

There is a lot of hope with this situation though. We are taking it really slow and he has agreed to all my terms. I really believe that God can bring reconciliation in the most difficult of circumstances and I really want to allow God to bring healing to both mine and my dad’s life and heart.

Just yesterday he emailed me and told me that he knew he had wronged me and was sorry for it. That was like having someone just cover my aching heart with a soothing balm. I had no idea how important that sorry was. I praise God for it. If thats all I get – it will be enough.

Many thanks

I’ve not found many sites that discuss this issue – the closest thing I found have been sites discussing adopted children finding birth parents – but some of the advice on those sites I found helpful.

While I’m no expert, I’ll give you my feelings from the perspective of an abandoned daughter. I think you should reach out to your daughter (phone or mail) and let her know that you think about her often, express regret for your choices and then attempt to slowly develop a relationship. Keep your expectations reasonable – remember you are a stranger and just happen to share DNA with this person – she may not immediately accept you as “Dad”.

It was important for me to understand why my father made the choices he did and for him to acknowledge and take full responsibility for being absent in my life while raising and caring for someone else’s child – in his case he knew it would interfere with his marriage. Some of the questions I asked him were tough and uncomfortable for both of us – and the answers sometimes hurt – but in order for me to move forward in a relationship with him – I needed answers to those questions. Your daughter may not be as inquisitive as I am – she may just make observations on the narrative you present. Be prepared to explain why you are just now willing to act on your feelings regarding your daughter and how important this relationship is to you. Also, be prepared to work at it – she may initially reject your efforts which could be a test to see how sincere you are in wanting a relationship after all these years.

Good luck and try to speak from the heart. I hope this is helpful.

I have remorsed daily and have never stopped loving her,
Bad brief marriage and horrible divorce, — I have many regrets in my life none vastly this huge, in giving up custody to my precious little girl, whom now is 19yrs old–

There seems now there is a good chance of a reconnection with my daughter- and really not sure how to proceed

1- letters thru her family– 2- professional advice
3- make the call to daughter

Really really want this to work and no there are pitfalls- haven’t even thought of yet– but all the wonderful things which can occur now and future– and all the time wasted, just wanted this to happen years nd years ago– in fact never wanted this in the first place-
Making no excuses for mine or any ones– taking full responsibility —
I have never stopped loving her and not a days gone by don’t think of her

Really need advice of the right approach– or seeking professional advice – or websites to go too

Thanks for reading and truly want to reconnect for a lifetime
howver know the odds after these many years and situation am in

I am new at this blog and the title caught my eye!!

This is a touching story and an important lesson for all! Thank you for sharing it!

You are always welcome to come by my house (blog) and share your thoughts as often as you’d like! My door is always open for new friends!

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!
Lisa

rawdawgbuffalo and if u like what u read, maybe u will come back, even Blog Roll Me

Be encouraged; it seems that there is much joy and some challenges yet to come. But, it can be a wonderful journey to family closeness and loving inclusiveness. Remember, as long as there is life there is hope.

Many, many blessings to you and yours.

StelStar